5) Freaking Danny Trejo getting smoked first. 4) The supporting cast: Owen Wilson, Eric Stoltz, Kari Wuhrer. 2) The Ice Cube line, "They got snakes this big?" 3) Jennifer Lopez's booty… in its prime. The following elements should have gotten it considered for an Academy Award: 1) John Voight's accent. Anaconda If you don't like this movie, you're an idiot. We all like to see Nazis bite the big one. That is a stupid title, anyway, and it would mean that the film would have less Nazis in it.
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Raiders of the Lost Ark Raiders is another entry that isn't a full movie about snakes, but the scene involving Indy and the cobras is so amazing, it makes up for the fact that the film isn't named Raiders of the Deadliest Effin' Snakes on the Planet. If there was also a snake orgy in this movie, it might have made #2. Jackson going for it, and 300+ species of snakes, and a plane. Even if it is a steaming pile of festering reptile leavings, it has garnered more attention than any snake-related film in history. Snakes on a Plane On hype alone, we are declaring this the #3 snake movie of all time. Go Skull Island Snake! You don't get nearly enough props. For another, it had the sack to attack a giant ape. For one thing, the serpent was as big as Kong.
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King Kong (1933) The T-Rex fight from Peter Jackson's Kong update was cool, but nothing really beats Kong duking it out with a snake in the 1933 joint. If you've seen a SCI FI Channel Original movie recently, you know exactly what you're in for: an enormous monster of a snake on a rampage to spill human blood. Yes, it is the #5 snake movie of all time. Python Yes, Jenny McCarthy is in this movie.
What is it about snake sex that's so damn alluring?īoa+vs.+Python 5. Brilliant! Even more brilliant is the fact that when they get together, they screw snake-style. Not one, but two, enormous snakes are set loose… the first escapes and the second is sent in to attack it. Once you do get past the nudity, though, you'll realize there is even more to this kick-ass movie. Python It may be difficult for some to get past the fact that former Playmate Angel Boris spends the early portion of this movie wandering around topless. Boogie Nights I mean, that thing is enormous.īoogie+Nights 6. Joe Dirt, we're comin' for ya!Ĭonan+the+Barbarian 7. Next up: Top Ten Scariest Movie Haircuts. Conan isn't fully about snakes, but the scene with the giant serpent is so striking we had to put it on the list. He looks like Bettie Page, and that is frightening beyond belief. The first scariest is James Earl Jones' haircut.
Conan the Barbarian The giant snake that Arnold wrestles (homoerotic imagery, anyone?) is only the second scariest thing about this movie.
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